Birthdays are always so emotional I don’t know why, as long as I remember I feel always so emotional at birthdays, whether it’s mine or someone dear’s birthday, and i never really knew why, instead of enjoying the party I always try so hard to conceal my tears.
Now I’m not going to discuss why I feel this way, it’s just something that won’t go away no matter what, but I’m just going to tell you what I decided to give myself as a birthday gift, and to be honest it did made me feel much better, it’s simple yet complicated, it’s something that I will continue to remember owning it each day of my life, and be thankful for it.
It’s the gift of the imperfection, while everyone wants to be perfect in their life I’m struggling to be imperfect, and unlike what you think, its way much harder to do than the other option. But here are 5 steps I follow to help me get there:
- Re identify perfection; forget what you have been taught, as humans we always aspire to do things as perfect as can be, and that is wrong, perfection is something that is only for god himself, why we try so hard to do it? Why we sabotage our whole life in the pressure for perfections? life has its own way to teach you that, each time you wait for something to be perfect, know that it won’t happen, and you will lose, definition; perfection is the enemy of achievements.
- Re wire your brain; and instead of thinking of what other’s think of you, think of what you think about yourself, you will find out that you are the harshest critic to your actions, you keep thinking of what they might say about this act and what they might say about that act, and you think that they know your faults, but in the fact you see things that no one sees, and you curtsies things in you that no one ever thought of, and that is you blocking yourself from moving forward in life. To do; Stop thinking of what they say and start doing what you think is good “good not perfect”.
- Visit your hero’s beginning; if you look at your heroes and look at their success stories, you will be shocked at their beginning, yet each time you don’t take the lesson out of it ,there is a say I really love it and that is “don’t comparing your beginning to someone else’s middle” each time I read this quote I feel relieved, just the other day there is a TV producer contacted me and asked to make a TV interview on their channel, and in that call I had only few minutes to think whether I should say yes or whether I should say no, my inner perfectionist was yelling NO DON’T YOU DARE, and giving what I know and what I think is right, I had to say yes, so I did, I said YES to them, and I had only few hours to prepare, I did it and it was the best thing I did this year so far. I embraced my faults, I embraced that it’s my first TV interview and that I will be nerves, and the words I heard from the producers were enough for me to make me believe for a fact that do what you can and it will be enough to make you great. To think; what was your heroes beginnings?
- Reaffirmations; one of the most important things that you should do on a daily basis, is to give yourself reaffirmations to boost your activity level and to make you a force of nature in terms of putting your hopes and dreams into actionable plan, you need to convince yourself by repetition that you are enough, that you do the best that you could do, and most of all affirm that no baby was born running, no matter how small the steps you take, as long as you taking it, it counts, so don’t wait to prefect it, just do it.
- Fall in love; best thing you can do for yourself to overcome the feeling of perfectionism, is to fall in love with the process, otherwise you will keep on thinking and pondering upon what are the final results should be, instead of focusing on what are the real steps you should take to make to reach your destination. And let me give you a hint, there is no destination; it’s only a constant process of progress.
I hope now you understand why I chose this gift to give myself, and how it is precious by all means, for so long I’ve waited for the right time to do certain things in my life and when I finally did it, it was too late, I have a book called Chatology and it’s on Amazon kindle, and I’m so happy with it for one reason, it always reminds me of what happens when you wait for so long for things to manifest in your life, you lose leverage. I had the idea for that book since Yahoo chat was in its peak, and it was all based on analyzing people’s personality though the way they use their Yahoo chat, and it was so accurate and on point, but I thought of it for half year, then I started to write and I didn’t commit to the process so it was on and off, and that was for another half year, then finally I finished it and I have the script, I didn’t out source and give it to editors, I wanted to edit it myself, then the design as well, etc.. before I realize, few years passed by, and at the time I finished everything and wanted to publish it, yahoo was losing and struggling for survival in the high tech world.
That was a lesson to me, and I came to conclusion that if your final product IS perfect, then it means you waited for so long. It means you lost. You could have the best idea in the world, you could be the best in the world at what you do, but if you don’t take the shot, an armature could beat you.
Finally I want you to set standards for yourself, and make your number one standard is to commit in a timeline to do something, if you passed that time it means you missed the chance, forcing yourself to do something even if you believe its not good enough is the only way for you to break though, remember these two scenes in your head always, first is that you saw a beautiful two birds on the edges of your window and you brought your phone and wanted to take picture for them, and just as you thinking ( let me just get a clearer shot) puff, they fly away. Wouldn’t you now wish if you just clicked that capture button?
The other scene is imagine you and your favorite basketball player, and you both aiming towards the basket, and someone is counting 1,2,3 go and you through the ball and your favorite player didn’t, whom do you think will stand a better chance to win?
That is exactly how life works, and that is what I keep reminding myself of each day, rewards come to those who embrace the game’s chaos and imperfection.
So until you reach your imperfection,
Be happy and live positively,