Its February and they call it the love month, since it has the Valentine’s day in the middle of it, and long red roses and sweet fluffy teddy bears are everywhere, all lovers are excited about this date, some declare their love in it, some propose in it and even some tie the knot in it, who doesn’t like an occasional romantic gesture like this? as much as its beautiful as much as it could be dangerous, and what comes along with a romantic man is a vital question you need to ask and you need to know.
As a handwriting analysis expert and a Grapho therapist, the game of psychology and reading people’s behavior is my favorite activity, and it has been this way almost all my life, and I developed a really good skill of reading patterns, watching what makes relationships work and what doesn’t, I ask the girls a lot this question; what do you want the man of your dreams to be like? And the first answer they give me is; romantic, so I continue to her, you want him to be so romantic that he brings you a red rose every day, and wakes you up with a breakfast in bed and a note that says I love you every day more and more, and first and for most to propose to you in the most romantic way you could imagine, they get excited say yes yes exactly that’s what I need, just there to burst the bubble and say to them, well it’s better to keep it in your dreams, cause you wouldn’t want such a man in your real life. I wish I could show you the look on their face, you could see their dreams get literary shattered lol. It’s better to tell them now than to let them discover later.
The biggest challenge that we face in terms of understanding each other and understanding relationships is that we don’t know how the personality traits are packed, as much as it’s a complicated process to develop your personality throughout your life as much as it is a process that is similar to picking up your lunch from a menu, you can’t see a stake that is served with a chocolate sauce, and you can’t see a Chinese dish that used curry in it, nor see an Indian food served with soy sauce. Same thing with personality traits, nature has its own menu to serve you, and you need to pick your choice wisely.
Knowing the combination of which character goes with which personality is the most vital factor in the success of deciding your standards, whether in relationships or in business life, the other day I saw an Ad of a company that say (we are hiring) and they listed the quality of traits that their prospects should have, and it made me laugh it was like picking that stake dish I told you about served with chocolate sauce. they want all the great shinny characteristic traits in their mind neglecting whether its suitable for the job they want or not in other word, they like chocolate and they like stake so they ordered them together.
Same thing happens when you draw a picture in your mind for the man of your dreams, you saw it in movies and you heard about it from friends, and you took it for granted that it is valid and this is how it should be, all pink and bubbly, not knowing that movies are made to sell, and what you hear from others you hear the beginning of the story and you don’t know how their marriage (if they get married) will go on later.
What I found out that there are two factors that you should pay attention for when you ask for a romantic man,
The first factor is; the weight of your relationship.
Based on many researches done in this area specially proposing in Valentine’s Day or tying the knot in this day, or other highly highlighted occasions, are relationships that has less weights than those who say I do in other normal days. Giving these studies a more widened perspective, you will see that those who magnify the importance of romantic gestures, from either genders, are basically new in their relationship, and that is so normal, because they haven’t yet develop the amount of emotional depth and emotional attachment to each other’s so they feel naturally drowned to whatever emotional additive they can get, but the problem arises when you see two adults in a relationship who still find the need to highlight this occasion. I’m not telling you to be whinny when your husband offers a romantic dinner in valentine’s day, and I’m not saying to say no to a beautiful red rose, I’m here to highlight a sub motivation behind all this chaos, and red lights that you should pay attention for in your relationships, question the depth of your relationships and re invent the connection.
The second factor is; what comes with the baggage.
Now as in handwriting analysis there are traits that shows how emotionally responsive is someone, as in how they will act in different kind of situations, will they show emotions or will they not, so there could be someone who is highly responsive for emotional stimulations who happens to be in situations where they see someone who is jumping from happiness and they will get all excited and jumping too, even though they don’t even know them, or when someone talks to them about their problems they will get in tears as if it was their own problem, you would say oh how sweet is that, they have feelings, everyone have feelings, the difference is whether it’s suitable to show it or not.
They are the type of people who will set up a full series of surprises for your birthday, and just when you get excited for how beautiful it is and how everything is going on, another NOT so happy emotional status shows up, and gets them naturally supper responsive about it, blowing everything away.
The same person with different situations can be a huge disappointment for people who have more stability, and control on their emotional reactions. And it’s not because they are good or bad people, it’s just about whether you can survive these ups and downs or whether you will feel burned up.
Having a misconception about what you really want in marriage and what you want in your future husband is one of the reasons why most marriages fail; you build a picture of your mind that has nothing to do with the truth. And it’s not because what you will later see is good or bad, the problem is whether it is what you expected or whether it is not.
We or better say the society and media gave us a deformed sculpture of marriage, and we carry this sculpture with us from generation to generation without questioning its originality. Once there was a village with a king who had a deformed ears that the doctors had to take one off, and he felt so conscious about it that he ordered to take one ear from every man under his rule, and an ear from every new boy, generation passed and the king died and this habit didn’t die, and till one day a man came from outside that kingdom and he naturally had his two ears in place, and when he marched in town, everyone laughed at him and thought that he was a freak. They couldn’t imagine that a man could have his two ears in place. Now I don’t know what happened later but I hope they broke this deformed sculpture of what a man should be.
Same thing is in marriage, if you don’t question your believes about marriage you will end up just like millions of unhappy spouses, if you want a man who is stable and knows his ground and you can depend on him in all times and at all costs you need to know that his perspective of romance is not to make you a fancy surprises or breakfast in bed type of man, but he will give you a shoulder to sleep on every night. But if you scarify a relationship at the beginning, just because he didn’t send you a message saying good morning beautiful, and didn’t write you poems each day, and went for the red roses and teddy bears at each meeting, expect what will happen in marriage and bear the easily moved moods of him.
Know what you want exactly, and take responsibility of what you asked for. Because once the menu is served, you will pay for it whether you liked it or not.
Read more often and you will get there,
Be happy and live positively,